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| Posted on 6/18/08 at 08:21 AM | |
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Nunzio’s Nostrum’s Nunzio is Murphy’s cousin, and Nunzio is a Screen Printer. After great study and review of Murphy’s Laws, Nunzio has determined that Murphy was an optimist when it came to Screen Printing. 1. The more critical the job the further out of scale the customer supplied art will be. 1a. The customer will want only the bad dimension changed on the above artwork. 2. The faster the rush the customer has, the less the customer is willing to pay. 3. If the job starts with a mistake, it becomes haunted for the life of the customer. 4. As rush charges increase, lead-time will open. 5. Only one pinhole on a screen, will always be in an uncorrectable spot. 6. Your new color-matcher thinks PMS is a gynecological problem. 7. Your sales staff specializes in work you cannot produce or no longer produce, due to lack of profitability or that requires additional equipment, far beyond the price of the entire job. 8. Your customers think that ‘lead-time’ is the time it takes them to drive to your shop. 9. On the rare occasion you accept a job that is not a rush, it is produced in record time with no rejects. 10. The greater your need for supplies, the greater the chance of back-order from the supplier. 11. Squeegees only fall to the floor with ink on them. 11a. Nicked floodbars only damage the most expensive meshes. 12. Proof sheets print perfectly, but actual production runs with rejects. 13. All half-tone films will move after they are taped for the greatest amount of moiré. 14. If you are too busy, your prices are too cheap. 14b. If prices are raised, your customer will remind you that your competition is much cheaper. 15. Odors you cannot detect are easily detectable by OSHA. 16. Your new equipment from Europe only comes with operating instructions in another language. 16b. Your new ‘Made in the USA’ equipment comes with no instructions. 17. Mistakes and rejects are inversely proportional to the job profitability. 18. No matter how much ink you mix for a job you will always need more. 18a. The re-mixed colors will not match the original prints. 18b. When the job is re-ordered the ink will not match the original production run, resulting in the customer dissatisfied with the original job. A discount will need to be given on the re-order to satisfy this unhappiness. 19. When a job goes bad, it will under the worse time constraints, to your best customer, on the most expensive garments, which have the worst profitability. 20. When you think you have had enough of this and are thinking of leaving the business, just remember that Screen Printing is the most versatile of all the Graphic Arts! | ||
 
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